Divine Influences and Support,What Is Meant to Be?

Last summer I took a chance sending a Facebook invitation to my stepson. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in eight years, but something urged me to reach out again, and the Facebook community seemed innocuous enough. Much to my surprise he responded. The incredible thing was he just created his new profile days before I sent him the friend request! And of all the confounded things, a few days later I got a phone call from my former husband; my stepson and children’s  father …He also resurfaced after eight years… The timing of all of this was surreal… I emailed an astrologer friend out of curiosity. Maybe there was some celestial influence that could explain these strange circumstances that defied reason. This was the update on her site on the day I inquired. “The current amazing line up of three planets, Jupiter, Neptune and Chiron in Aquarius are signaling that we might have to deal with old wounds that come up now for healing”! …

Do you ever feel like you are a part of a larger design; certain things happen which feel like they are meant to be? In my last blog post “Consciously Letting Go of Family Connections and Old Friends” my inspiration to write in part came from my experiences with my stepson over the last year. This post is the sequel.

I was struggling to sort my conflicted feelings because my stepson popped back in our lives briefly and has withdrawn again. It is evident to me that there is another force, a higher power exercising influence over us. Last week another unusual happening brought us together. I couldn’t help thinking that it was an act of divine intervention and support.

Without a doubt I have a psychic connection to this young man whom I have known some twenty plus years, since he was twelve. Although we didn’t speak or visit for nearly a decade one year he sent a holiday card with a postmark from a neighboring city where our close friends live. There was no return address. From that point on every time we visited these friends my feelers were out. And every time we drove by a particular apartment complex which happened to be painted pink at the time, I’d say, “I bet your brother lives there. I just have a really strong feeling that he does”…

After reconnecting on Facebook we emailed back and forth. And yes indeed, he was living in those apartments… He wrote candidly about his struggles and his growth process over the last four years. I was relieved, overjoyed and so proud of him. I still am.  But when we all reunited a lot of emotions resurfaced and old wounds certainly did come up for healing…Chiron the Wounded Healer was in the house.

In my inimitable way I tried to patch and repave all the broken paths; his, mine, and my childrens’ to keep us skipping merrily into the future. I know my fear of loosing him again drove me to overcompensate for his ambivalence. I was the initiator inviting him to do a variety of things, to make up for lost time, to participate in our lives to recreate history and some sense of family. Our times together were always a bit guarded and strained, but they were still good times.

In December my daughter and I traveled to the east coast during winter break. I asked my stepson some months in advance if he would be interested in staying with my son as a house companion for part of the time we were away. He seemed sincerely interested. As our departure date neared I found it increasingly more difficult to get specifics from him. Finally he committed to coming for the first and last weekend we were gone. My son declined work on those weekends looking forward to spending time with his older brother after so many years. But things did not go as planned. My stepson came Saturday afternoon and left early Sunday morning instead of staying the day until early evening as he originally planned. I was shocked and annoyed to discover this when I called home. I sent a text message and we finally spoke long distance but nothing he said justified his actions. I felt personally wounded but more pained for my son, although my son took it in stride. He didn’t have the same expectations or perhaps the same emotional investment as I did. When we returned from vacationing it became very clear that the gap between us had re-opened. Perhaps it never really closed and I was just living under the illusion that it had. I sent our holiday gifts and left a phone message with the date of my son’s High School graduation in June. I asked my stepson to contact us in advance if he was interested in coming.

Last week my son graduated High School. As I was making arrangements with my former husband to pick up tickets, I mentioned having an extra ticket which I offered to his woman friend. My ex mentioned that my stepson was thinking about coming. “Oh” I said. We haven’t heard from him in months…not even for our son’s eighteenth birthday. The option is not available. The ticket is here for your friend.  I have drawn the line.”

The graduation ceremony and celebration with family and friends was wonderful. Sadly my stepson never made a gesture to contact my son and congratulate him by phone, text, or card. I hoped that he would.

The following day we took my uncle and cousins to a wonderful restaurant on the coast between Monterey and Santa Cruz. We were chatting after placing our orders and from out of the blue my stepson appeared! I looked up and there he was standing at our table. He lives twenty five miles north of the restaurant and we live probably the same distance to the east…On the same day at the same time in the same place here we were. Was it more than a fluke or were we called together to face one another whether we wanted to or not? You already know what I believe…On that afternoon I looked with a different set of eyes and I saw a young man still confused. I heard a young man still searching. I felt compassion and love and I felt detached; the quiet resolve and inner peace that signals emotional closure.

…”Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.”

I welcome your comments and questions. Feel free to post them here on my blog or email me at: Stephanie@of2minds.com/

If you would like to learn more about me and the services I offer  as a Personal Life Coach click on the Services tab in the upper right hand corner of this page: http://www.stephaniealt.com or visit my website http://www.of2minds.com/

“Fine-tuning your intuition safeguards your future and opens doors to the extraordinary.”                     Stephanie Rachel Alt, MS

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One Comment

  1. Janet on the Jun 22, 2010 remarked #

    Thank you so much for your inspiring journey of listening and understanding with compassion.

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