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NLP Reframing, Improve Your Self Image

In NLP there is a term called “Reframing” which refers to changing the parameters of how we think about a situation or our self. This is another way to apply directed thought and conscious awareness to reprogram outdated ideology. Isn’t it interesting how the same photo or painting can look completely different when you put it into a new frame? It seems to take on another life, or persona; it has a completely different feel to it. This is the comparison we make with mental reframing.

Last week I noticed that I was feeling gloomy, mumbling and grumbling like Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh. The inner suppressor was on the prowl, that part of the mind which tries to caution and warn. But this inner voice can easily go overboard with questions like “What if this … happens or doesn’t happen”?

Where does this voice come from?  How do you discipline and keep it in check?  Are there times when you find yourself mentally and emotionally stuck, caught in a trap of self defeatist thoughts? Perhaps it’s time for a reframe.

One of the most pivotal experiences in NLP training was a visual and kinesthetic reframing exercise. In this  one explores core frames of reference and belief systems.

Find a childhood picture or visualize one in your mind. Looking back how do you appear? In what ways has your perspective about your self and life changed?  Do you see and identify with aspects of your personality in the same way years later? Which parts of you are you still harboring in what I refer to as “ Old World thinking” ?

I was a timid and shy child and for years I had difficulty expressing myself especially when I was with a group of people.  I was very self conscious.  Raised by a single father who was preoccupied with his problems and disappointed with many aspects of his life there was little time and emotional resource left to give to me. And when I did try to share things with him he was often curt and disinterested. Looking back I realize I shut down emotionally and my self identity reflected this. I carried this view into my late twenties.

What subliminal messages do you suspect I had going on inside? Here is one of them. “What you have to say isn’t interesting.”

I realized I was in part still looking at me through my father’s eyes and his outlook on life. From the perspective of a soul searching woman I  saw a beautiful little girl inquisitive,  seeking answers and places to share her interests and love.  And I viewed my father differently, as a man who was broken inside and truly disappointed in him self; a man who never found inner peace and joy.

Many people including my children find it hard to believe that I was quiet and had difficulty expressing my thoughts and feelings… They only know an outgoing and prolific woman…

I welcome your comments and questions. Feel free to post them directly or email me at: Stephanie@of2minds.com If you would like to learn more about the services I offer as a Personal Life Coach click on the Services tab in the upper right hand corner of this page: http://www.stephaniealt.com/ or visit my website: http://www.of2minds.com/

“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances”. Benjamin Franklin

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4 Comments

  1. Julio Toribio on the Apr 17, 2010 remarked #

    Reframing, I like this concept. Most of us see each others the way we are and we get stocked in that frame. Accepting a positive complement without any judgment can reframe the way you see yourself and possibly begin a new destiny.
    Julio Toribio –
    Seibukan Jujutsu Kancho

  2. Stephanie Alt on the Apr 18, 2010 remarked #

    And when someone compliments you it also means your luminous self is shining through..Thank you for another “reframe” Kancho Toribio

  3. Catherine Al-Meten on the Apr 24, 2010 remarked #

    Really enjoy reading your ideas and experiences. The concept of reframing as well as your encouragement to pay attention to and trust instints and intuition are all worth sharing and encouraging. Just what I needed to read and respond to this afternoon.

  4. Eileen on the Apr 28, 2010 remarked #

    Found you via a link in a link… wonderful post and much for me to think of. My self image has been in my thoughts of late – loved what you wrote and I may have to think on it a bit more. Thank you for sharing!

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